There I was, lugging my suitcase in one hand and my briefcase in the other, running through a torrential rainstorm through the streets of Tel Aviv at 6:05 AM… laughing my head off!
My right shoe sole had come loose and was now flopping an arc of rainwater ahead of me with every stride up the steeply inclined sidewalk.
As the streetlights refracted through one of my shoe shower arches…the absurdity of the experience was hitting me in shockwaves of reality. And suddenly — I just got the joke, and I spontaneously burst out laughing.
Not chuckling, or snickering.
I was whole-bodied, full-throated, gleefully laughing, all the rest of the way up that hill.
I’m tempted to say I was laughing hysterically, but that would give the wrong impression. I probably did appear hysterical to anyone who might have witnessed this odd event.
But like I said; I got the joke.
I understood why I was laughing, and that I had good reason to laugh.
The reason was…
Well, before I get to that, I think you’ll appreciate the story more if you allow me to provide a little more context.
So let’s rewind about 15 minutes to me, stepping out of the elevator at 5:50 am, ready to meet a co-worker to jump in an Uber to the airport after a week-long company off-site.
At dinner the night before, I had made a point of tracking down anyone else who was flying back to the States and going to the airport at about the same time as me. It was important that I did that because I didn’t have any cash, or enough available credit on my credit cards, or any other funds available to pay for an Uber on my own.
Just how I came to be halfway around the world from home with no money, is a longer story, and I’ll get to that in time. But back to Tel Aviv.
I did connect with another American, and we arranged to meet in the hotel lobby at 6:00 am. I was sure to be down by 5:50 am sharp.
After waiting several minutes for my co-worker to arrive, I asked the checkout clerk if she had seen him, and she told me she believed he had already left by the time I got down to the lobby.
Wow!
Of course, I hadn’t shared the full extent of my predicament with my coworker, and he had no idea that sharing a ride to the airport was a key step in my complicated plan to get out of Tel Aviv and back to Silicon Valley.
But still. Who arranges to meet at a certain time to share a ride to the airport, and then just bales?
Anyway, I asked if I could use my bank card to pay for a ride on the hotel shuttle, because I did have just enough money for the shuttle in my checking account. But I already knew the answer was ‘no’. In the US, I can use my bank card just like a credit card. But in Israel, my bank card was useless.
“The only other thing I could suggest,” she said, “is that there’s an ATM up around the corner and about two blocks down.”
I had two choices.
I could sit down on the couch in the lobby and wait for the next person to come down from the rooms on their way to the airport, and hitch a ride with them.
Awkward. Humiliating, even. But I’ve experienced worse.
My main concern was that this was a small company, and I wasn’t sure if anyone else would even be coming down in time for me to catch my flight. For all I knew, I could end up sitting there helplessly waiting for some hero to arrive while my flight took off.
I couldn’t risk it.
Which left me with my only other alternative, which was to brave the gale force winds and driving rain outside — the biggest storm Tel Aviv had seen in a generation, I was told.
I grabbed my briefcase, suitcase and umbrella and headed toward the huge glass doors.
The hotel’s insulation had dramatically blunted the full force of the storm, so when I opened the doors and forged ahead onto the sidewalk, it was like stepping into a real-life action adventure movie. Violent gusts whipped around me and pounded against the glass walls of the hotel, as sheets of rain engulfed everything in a heavy roar.
I don’t know what made me think I could use my umbrella to shield me from the driving rain, but the moment I tried to push it open the wind ripped it inside out and it was history.
I tossed it in the garbage can at the hilltop intersection, and turned right down the sloping street along the side of the hotel to find the ATM the clerk had said was two blocks down.
After jogging two blocks, I had cleared the hotel itself and a couple other small office buildings — and saw no sign of any ATM. It was hard to make things out in the darkness. I peered at the parking garage on the other side of the street. Nothing. I ran another block further down that side street in the relentless rain, then ran back and looked around again at the area where the desk clerk said the ATM would be. Still nothing.
What now?
All I could do was head back to the hotel and hope that either someone else would be ready to leave for the airport, or that a desk clerk could be more clear about where this supposed ATM was.
I stood there in the pouring rain for a moment — a few moments — reflecting on my situation. How had I arrived at this ridiculous point in my life? Why was I going through this?
Various moments in my life — people I’ve known, events I’ve experienced, choices I’ve made — swirled through my mind like the rain water streaming down that glossy Tel Aviv street.
I thought about all the petty financial hurdles I had to clear just to arrange the funds for this trip.
I thought about all the employers and clients I’ve worked for over the years, and how all the different kinds of work I’ve done seems to have mostly accrued to their benefit, and not so much to mine.
I thought about my family and how my failures have impacted their lives and always will.
Where did it all go wrong?
I couldn’t put my finger on it.
So I just picked up my bags, put my head down and started running up that hill.
That’s when my shoe blew out.
A minute later I was laughing my head off as I reached the intersection. I paused there to catch my breath, and to thoroughly enjoy the elation I was feeling in the moment.
Some people who found themselves in that situation might have experienced feelings of extreme frustration, anger and fear. I could easily have gone down that hole myself. But in that moment, I recognized the incredibly massive value woven into the fabric of the experience.
I was laughing because I realized I had just created and been gifted with one of the most precious, valuable objects on Earth.
A Great Story.
Right?
Who wouldn’t like this story?! Especially when you know it is 100% true and authentic. Everything I just related happened just as I described it.
What makes it cool is that I realized the significance of the event in real time. I mean, if this was just a story of poor, miserable me running through a rainstorm with a broken shoe, it would have been just OK.
But that realization at the top of the hill that brought me such joy is what makes the story great.
I sloshed back down to the hotel and asked the desk clerk to please clarify about the whereabouts of the ATM. As she was checking an app and swearing there should be one there, another one of my colleagues showed up on their way to catch a flight to Germany. So I asked if I could catch a ride with him and he said sure. I thanked him profusely, but he had no idea that he had bailed me out of a really big mess.
I ran into the other guy who had originally agreed to share a ride with me in the terminal. He had just spaced it out, he told me nonchalantly. Understandable at 6:00 am, I suppose. No biggie. He also never had any idea about the 15 minutes off exhilarating terror I had just experienced.
So I caught my flight and arrived back at SFO some 20 hours later. By that time, my daughter had been able to deposit her tips from the night before, and Venmoed enough money to pay for a Lyft for my final leg home.
Thus ended another wacky adventure in the life of a Silicon Valley Serial Failure.
I have quite a few stories to tell about making my way on the fringes of Silicon Valley, and some knowledge and wisdom to impart, I think. I also have a few tricks up my sleeve, and I promise you will see some startling surprises and amazing opportunities along the way.
My one guarantee is that you’ll always get at least one payoff with each story. Here are my key takeaways from this one: (Feel free to come up with your own)
- People aren’t that concerned about the details of your life. Don’t expect them to be.
- No matter how grim things look, stay calm and work the situation. Things have a way of working out.
- No matter how bad things get, the silver lining is you can usually get a great story out of it.
- Stories are precious and awesome.
Stay tuned for more thrilling adventures/confessions from Dane of Earth.
Meanwhile, please consider supporting the Dane of Earth Channel on Patreon.
